Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Sooo...


I have been going about this blog thing very strangely. It is a good way to do it. But I feel like I need to update more. Lacking behind lately, due to being really stressed out.

Have had a lot go on with my life, my car, my job, my relationships with people.

But you can always follow my little life on twitter. Since I abuse it, haha.

Have been thinking about this as a career or not a lot. Debating back and forth to do nudes, and try to really make money off of art nudes for a while. But am scared of the possible repercussions. But we will see. I feel like this is a place I can be honest. So I want to be.

I have been really insecure, scared, etc over this. Over everything in my life. How I do my day job. How I come off to people. My love life. My family. I have almost driven myself insane in the past two weeks.

Now, for some reason, I have 180'd, come out of it. Realized a little. Still a little paranoid, freaked out. But I guess that's a normal feeling when you have felt out of placed for a while. But want to get back into the swing of everything, realize things are so much better. Maybe I shouldn't stretch myself out so thin.

I am not going to post any photos, but of course my flickr has a lot on it. Maybe next time, since I am going to try and update more, maybe I will if I keep it a little more personable.

And since this seems to be an ongoing theme in blogs these days, I want to write about a few things I view through my mind.

That life isn't as simple as people mean it to be. It isn't just "Put your mind to it, and you can do it." disney movie saying theories. Talking and doing are two different things. Be original. Try and think for yourself, don't post things on here that you just read somewhere else. If you aren't meant to be deep, or a close-up finder, the don't try and be.

I notice all these little things, even with my bad eyes. But only about ones that intrigue me.

Nothing that I haven't written down before. All these little things are nice, but they sadly surround a much more complicated substance.

I am a romantic though. So I will say that I miss everything being simple very much. And I constantly think in that mind set.